28 12 / 2012
I’ve come out of hiding. Well I wasn’t intentionally hiding- basically I have just abandoned the whole health and fitness lifestyle and gone rouge. My routine has been like so: Skip breakfast, eat out for lunch (usually a sandwich from firehouse or subway, maybe arbys), with soda! (not diet) go to work- snack on whatever’s there- go to dinner with my boyfriend, sometimes we cook but not like we used to- another glass of soda. Go home and watch tv. LAZYYYYY. I lost my water bottle ages ago and have not really kept up with my water intake. Probably getting less than a liter a day. Oh and no gym. I may make it to the gym once or twice a week, but nothing consistent. The holidays totally won around here. Even though I’ve been “ok” with this routine- no intense feelings of self hatred or needing to purge- subconsciously it has been taking it’s tole. I am ashamed oh how easily I slid back into bad habits. I am ashamed of how I’m letting my gym membership go to waste. What I am really ashamed of though is my lack of self control and integrity. Almost daily I would realize what I was doing was not what I really wanted. After each soda I would think faintly that that soda would be the last one. And then all resolve would be lost and forgotten come the next meal. It makes me question, is there something wrong with me? It makes me question how bad I really want it. Oh fitblr community, please take me back into your fold. I need a good swift quick up the backside. I need to be reminded of the hard work and persistence that you all are putting in each day. I need your motivation that I used to rely on daily. Here I am- unaware of how much weight I may have gained because I refuse to weight myself. That number does not matter. I don’t give a damn about a goal weight. My goal is for healthy eating to become mindless and routine, for running and lifting to become my norm. I want it to be my life! I’m not setting a date to reach this goal- I’m tired of the quick 30 day fix boot camp- I want to feel good about how I treat my body every single day. I realize this will never be over. This is the rest of my life. I want it so bad. I need to stop sabotaging myself and putting it off till tomorrow. It starts right now and it will always be re-starting. There is no end, because this is not a game. I need to stop treating it like it is. I need to realize I cannot lose. I cannot lose.
24 9 / 2012
I’ve been Doing Jamie Eason’s LiveFit Trainer and I’ve completed Phase 1 of the program! I’m really proud that I have come this far- I did SO well with the training- everyday I hit the gym and the weights- I surprised myself with just how much weight I could lift and move. I can feel muscles I’ve never had before!! I have to admit my diet wasn’t at all what it should have been- I did have a few awesome days, but honestly my slip ups kinda outweigh those… But I have set some nutritional goals for week 5. Those include: absolutely no soda… (that means goodbye diet coke!) at least 3 liters of water a day, 1 cup of green tea a day and to have at least 1 glass of fresh squeezed green vegetable juice (kale/spinach) or 1 serving of green vegetables a day. Each week I will implement more small nutritional goals so by the time Phase 3 roles around my nutrition will be on lock and super clean!
I start Day 1 of Phase 2 today and I’m super excited! This phase introduces cardio along side the weight training and supersets! I’m super excited to start doing cardio again!
Happy training everyone!
31 8 / 2012
"I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people’s eyes when they realize they’re in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they’ve forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favorite character dies. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words."
29 8 / 2012
A conversation with my fat
- 1: So listen, we need to talk.
- 2: Is something wrong
- 1: It's just.... Well, it's not working out
- 2: But- but, we've been together for so long
- 1: There's someone else
- 3: Hey there, baby
29 8 / 2012
curled with 15lb dumbbells last night… and I am proud. For me, that’s a big deal and a big accomplishment!
Side note though: I always experience a lot of pain in my wrists when curling, and not just one, but both- they click and pop when I do the movement and by the end of my sets the pain is terrible
:( are my wrists just too weak, or what? Anyone experience this also and know what I can do?